Posted by: warnick68 | December 11, 2008

No Santa


Don’t be fooled by the title, I do not mean to indicate that I believe in that silly and persistent rumor that Santa Claus does not exist.

I referring to a the fact that old guy has been laid off!

ABC News

John Hauck Santa Claus, 71 immortal, dons the traditional red suit and commutes two-and-half-hours day’s

from Pennsylvania the North Pole to New York, because, like most businesses these days, even the Santa business is struggling.

For the past five years, Hauck Clause has worked at the local Granite Run Mall in Delaware County, Pa North Pole but he was laid off when the mall North Pole had to had to cut back on Santas from its holiday display toy making.

“I worked four days a week, 10-hour days, full days,” he said. “I counted on that money every year. It’s gone now.”

First of all, I’m shocked to learn that Santa does not own the whole toy making outfit up there in the North Pole.

Clearly, having been laid off, he is merely another employee. The company is probably owned by the Chinese!

Be sure I’ll be looking into that.


The worse part though is the affect this will have on parents all across the world during this time of financial struggle. This Christmas we as parents will not be able to simply make sure the fire is out in the fire place or make sure we leave a specific previously arranged window unlocked through which Santa may enter.

This year we have to purchase all of the toys, socks and underwear, money from our pockets for these little crumb snatchers that we cloth and feed every other day of the year.

Santa and the unknown company for which he once worked have let us down in a big way.

Why wasn’t Santa’s toy shop offered a bailout?

Why were we, the parents of the world, not informed that Santa had been laid off until Christmas was practically on top of us?!

I can only hope that the United States Senate continues the great job they have been doing during this time of economic trouble, and that they will completely investigate this situation.

I don’t know what others are going to do, but as soon as I finish this posting I’m going to drive to the dollar store and spend five bucks on each of my kids. Well, not on the baby, she’s so young she’ll have no idea that she didn’t get anything for Christmas.

The only reason I’m able to do so is that I’ve been wise and frugal over the years and do have savings built up. This trip to the dollar store will wipe that savings out though, $25.00 gone in one shot just to make my drippy nosed kids happy.

What a waste of money, but what can I do, I’m a giver.

I’ve no clue what I’ll do next Christmas.

Maybe I can trick the kids and tell them that Christmas really isn’t about getting a bunch of new toys and some underwear without holes in it.

I’ve been told that there is an alternative narrative to Christmas, an alternative explanation as to what Christmas is all about.

Something about God… God and a baby.

Oh, I don’t know.

After Christmas I’ve another year to look into it. Surely another year of not letting my children know what Christmas is about can’t hurt. I mean, what could possibly happen in a years time.

And who knows, maybe Santa and his Chinese owned toy factory will bounce back and I won’t have to worry about it at all.



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